Saturday, June 06, 2009

Naughty French Secrets--Join the Club!

So, I'd mentioned earlier how much I was enjoying a book called Naughty Paris: A Lady’s Guide to the Sexy City, and I've been meaning to share a few tidbits from its many titillating sidebars and insider tips. Actually this would be a good reference if you're wanting to put a French lover in a story! Did you know that for French men, sex ala derriere is considered part of the usual offering, no negotiation or discussion necessary? I'd heard this from (shocked) friends the summer I spent in Avignon, but since it's in an actual book, I guess it must be true. (I never got that far, but did have one interesting cultural adventure in a car with a French fireman I keep meaning to write up--provided there's interest, of course).

Anyway, here's an interesting statistic from the book: "According to the Kinsey Institute of Indiana University, 5-10% of Americans engage in light SM on at least an occasional basis. And if you've ever been blindfolded, tied up, or spanked by your lover during sex (Donna's note: no fair if said lover does this when s/he's not having sex with you), you can count yourself among them." Ha, and I thought I was irredeemably vanilla! Who knew?

How about these words of wisdom from Catherine Deneuve: "Sex is a big question mark. It is something people will talk about forever." C'est vrai, n'est-ce pas?

And the ever-quotable Mae West: "When choosing between two evils, I always pick the one I haven't tried before." Words to live by indeed.

One of my favorite quotes in the book is by writer Jules Renard: "Don't tell a woman she's pretty; tell her there's no other woman like her, and all roads will open to you."

Presumably even the "back" road, Monsieur?

But seriously, gentleman, I will confirm, if you want to seduce a lady, do not go on and on about how you love women, fat, thin, busty, flat, smart, bubbly--gawd, you just think they're all enchanting. Hold her gaze and tell her she's special. Even if it's not true. And roads will open ;-).


Jeremy Edwards said...

Hold her gaze and tell her she's special.

E.g., "O quel cul t'as!"

Donna said...

Jeremy--that's dirty! I'm blushing ;-).

Erobintica said...

Donna, your last paragraph there - true, so true!

neve black said...

Il est très bon de se garer à l'arrière, Mademoiselle -

p.s. Yes, that is a bit naughty, J. I love it though.

p.s.s. More, more, more about the French firemen, svp.

Donna said...

It is true, Robin, isn't it? I'm going to make sure my sons get that weapon in their arsenal.

And Neve, hey, we are all set for that trip to Paris--and I'm gonna make you do the talking. I think I owe you a story for the Burt B. on the beach memories. But the French fireman story is kind of...well, the closest I ever got to doing it in a public restroom, lol.

Emerald said...

Well, Neve is effectively demonstrating how much of the multiple years of French I took in school I have forgotten, lol.

Indeed, I would love to hear about the French firefighter. Somehow that very description just sounds sexy to me....

Donna said...

Well, I guess I was sort of twisting your arms, guys, but sure, I'll post the story of the pompier this week, once my mouth stops tingling from Robin's party!

Erobintica said...

okay okay - I doubt anyone who might know what I'm talking about will follow me here ;-)

when a guy that you have always found very attractive makes you feel "special" by telling you how just about every other woman on earth is quite "fuckable" - but you are not among those (for myriad complicated reasons that have nothing at all to do with the fact that you wouldn't even if you could) - you are one of the point zero something percent of women on earth he wouldn't (and it has nothing to do with your looks) - well, tell me that isn't a mind fuck!?

you asked Donna, you asked. ;-)

Donna said...

Oh, Robin, I've been there! I've been on every side of it--one of the multitudes as well. Makes you feel so special.

Erobintica said...

and haha, yeah, he lost his chance - road's washed out ahead ;-)