Okay, I'll admit it, I check my Amorous Woman Amazon page fairly regularly. Not exactly every day, but several times a week. Sometimes I'm checking for a new review. Sometimes I'm checking if the "2 copies remaining (more on the way)" has shifted to "in stock." Sometimes I'm trying to confirm the apparent trend of more sales on Friday night than any other day of the week. Today I clicked over to Amazon, typed in my title and all I got was Ihara Saikaku's The Life of an Amorous Woman. I tried my own name. My academic translation popped up, but no Amorous Woman. I tried the link I use for sales of the book and yes, there I was. My book is in stock, my numbers far lower than many that show up readily with a title or author search. But unless a potential buyer clicks through from my link, I'm invisible. I've written Amazon about this, but it's very scary and frustrating for an author to be wiped off of Amazon. It reminds me of the early days right after official publication, when my book wasn't really available here at all. Talk about feeling impotent.
On the other hand, perhaps the universe is sending me a message? Stop promoting your old book! This coupled with news that a Zoetrope colleague has landed a two-book deal makes me stop and think--what am I doing? I should be writing. Seriously and obsessively. That's what I really want to be doing. Not that I'll ever get a two-book deal with a print publisher, but I at least want to say I tried my best, no regrets.
Is this my big, fat kick in the pants?