Oh, my, I've got a BIG problem! I was all ready to head off to the next stop on my Amorous Woman blog tour, and of course, went to dip into the novel for the perfect excerpt when--to my shock and horror--I discovered that Lydia has escaped! She's gone. No sign of her. The big chunks of missing text are worrisome enough, but I know that girl can get up to some major trouble when she's on her own and feeling frisky.
The problem is, I think she's just discovered the Internet, and how easy it is to flit around the world that way. She's definitely not doing the nun thing anymore, so she's doubtless on the prowl for some good times. I certainly wouldn't want to endanger any of my friends' primary relationships because of that copper-haired vixen's shameless behavior. So keep an eye out for her--and do inform me of any cyberspace sightings. I can't rest until that wayward trollop is back where she belongs!
I will definitely keep my eyes open for Lydia.
(And if I see her, they'll probably open even wider.)
Thank you, Jeremy. I know I can count on you. If you do happen to see, DO NOT let her convince you to take off your clothes. Trust me, it's a downhill and very slippery slope from there....
I have some distressing news. You're not the only one Lydia's hijacked: I just checked my copy of AW. Pages 3 through 349 are ... I HOPE YOU'RE SITTING DOWN ... blank!!! She's absconded with her entire tale, so to speak. Maybe she took her words so she'd know what to say to people. Who knows?!
The title/credit page remains, as does the ad on the book's last page. Of course, the front cover is still there, depicting the Japanese woman. Had that been a picture of Lydia instead I'd be looking at an empty room. The back cover has the title and your name at the top, the descriptive blurb in black type and the bar code/publisher's info at the bottom but the excerpt in Lydia's voice that was red type in between is gone, baby, gone. Sayonara!
Please find her! I was not done reading AW and to use all these white pages as my journal would be utter sacrilege!
I'm so upset, I can't even post properly--all of those deletions were me begging Lydia to return in overly colorful language. Okay, well, this confirms it. It's not just my copy. We have got to find Lydia, although I know of course (guilty mom that I am) it's my fault for giving her such a case of wander-LUST.
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