Winter Break

Maybe you've noticed--and good for you, if you haven't--but I've been on a break from blogging for the past few weeks. Initially, I thought it was because I was busy with Thanksgiving preparations, story writing, and other things involved in my day job as family manager. But gradually I began to realize my reluctance to surf the waves of blogland is coming from within.

In my final installment for my "Shameless Self-Promotion" column over at ERWA, I talk about when is the right time to stop promoting. For a long time I suspected on an intellectual level it was time to let Amorous Woman go, but I couldn't do it. Now my body and mind are making that decision for me. I physically cannot make myself do the things I spent most of two years doing as a fake eager book promoter, so yep, it's clearly time to wiggle out of those "buy my book" leopard panties and put on some sober white cotton briefs. Last year at this time, I hoped to make good progress on my next novel in 2009. One year later, I realize I've done next to nothing. I have blogged a lot, though, and it's become obvious to me that I'm using the same energy I need for my own fiction here instead.

Now, I have to say that being part of the erotica bloggers' community has brought wonderful rewards. I've connected with other generous and talented writers all over the country and the world who've supported me and inspired me with their thoughtful and lovely blog posts. I'm not saying I'll give up blogging forever, but I do plan to cut way down and focus on my fiction in the coming year. In the meantime, I may finish up my posts about my summer vacation, just 'cause I'm the type who likes to finish things I start sooner or later (then again, maybe I won't and that's okay, because who's grading me on this, right?). Beyond that, I think I need the rest of December to step back and take stock of where I focus my creative efforts. This is actually rather painful for me to give up being part of this wonderful community even for a month, but I think it's necessary to step back and get a fresh perspective on my writing life.

No need to say good-bye, though, just bon voyage until the new year. Feel free to keep in touch by email, and have a fun winter solstice holiday season!

Size Queens and Sentence Fondling

Can you believe it's November already? But hey, it's my new favorite month of the year, and I hope that I can even fit in a little writing in the next few weeks of quiet and contemplation before the holidays really hammer us.

Not that I haven't been writing a lot this past week. Actually, I've been writing about writing and you can read all about it in the Erotica Readers and Writers Association's latest exciting edition of their fabulous newsletter, the Erotic Lure.

In my Shameless Self-Promotion column, "Bigger is Better: Bookstores from Indies to Amazon," I talk about why bigger can be better for the struggling small author and give you my tips for getting attention for your book at local bookstores and at the biggest bookselling marketplace of all.

My sex, food, and writing meditation in Cooking Up a Storey continues the discussion of story critiquing and mentoring with "Don’t Fondle My Sentence: Sex with Strangers, Casual Critiques, and Fearlessly Arty Applesauce." You'll learn about my traumatic past and why I'm gun shy about giving critiques, then when the confessing is done, you can stir up a batch of delicious applesauce just the way you like it. It's the season after all!

Enjoy! (And, yep, that frozen peach applesauce was mighty good...)

Want to Be a "Real" Writer Who Makes Book Trailers?

The October edition of the Erotica Readers and Writer's Association's wonderful newsletter, The Erotic Lure, is up today and, I have two red-h0t columns in its titillating pages.

This month's "Cooking Up a Storey" is entitled "Are You a “Real” Writer?:
Fiery Maestros, Spicy Thai Tofu, and the Writers’ Country Club." Readers of my blog will be familiar with the recipe, but you may not know about my sure-fire way to determine if you have the talent it takes to be a real writer. So pop on over to find out the secret!

In October's Shameless Self-Promotion, I talk about how to make your own book trailer, with a special guest appearance by my technical advisor, Herr Doktor. The jury's still out on whether trailers sell lots of books, but they are fun to make and will improve your marriage, even if it's pretty darn good to begin with. So check out "Make Your Own Movie: Promoting Through Book Trailers." I hope it inspires you to make a movie of your own.

Memorable Meals and In the Flesh Shamelessness

So, yes, you may have noticed I've been on break from my travelogue (or "travelblogue" as Jeremy Edwards dubbed it) because of back-to-school busyness and a quick trip to Germany to taste some of Danielle de Santiago's delicious chutney. I'm planning to slip back into my time machine tomorrow to attend a candle-lit and spectre-haunted dinner in 1863, but in the meantime we all know a new month starts tomorrow and that means the new columns are up at the Erotica Readers and Writers Association website.

And thankfully I made it back from the nineteenth century in time to meet my deadlines so I'm actually part of the current issue!

This month's "Cooking Up a Storey" was inspired by an amazing meal I had at a friend's house two weekends ago. Of course you knew that sex, food and writing had a lot in common, but I've come up with a new twist on that connection--plus I share my recipe for a simple, but tasty soup, which always gets rave reviews in spite of the fact it involves minimal fuss to make. (My foodie fetishes aside, most of the time I like to make quick, healthy dishes). And psst, there's a tie-in with BDSM bedroom play, for those of you who like dancing on the edge. So click on over to ERWA read all about "Secrets of Seduction: Memorable Meals, Spicy Sex, and Chameleon Carrot Soup."

In this month's "Shameless Self-Promotion" I really strip down to my skivvies to tell you all my deep, dark secrets for "Promoting In the Flesh: Launch Parties, Readings and Book Fairs." To think it was only a year ago when I was poised to go on my "national" book tour. Ah, the memories. Anyway, in this case, I'm sure you'll agree, a picture of my butt is actually a completely appropriate illustration!

Happy September to you all!

Erotic Alchemy and Adventures in Cyberspace

I was going to continue my story about the French fireman on Friday, but some things came up, and then today I suddenly got the chance to "fly" when my son's friend got sick and slot opened up for his I-Fly birthday party (Youtube video to come--it was fun!). So I'm a bit behind in my emails and blogging, but it will happen, I promise! Thanks so much to everyone for your thought-provoking comments on "Men and Breasts." I was reminded very quickly that every woman has some vulnerability about her body, whether it's being ignored or getting too much of the wrong kind of attention. Men are not immune from humiliations either. You know, we are all in this together!

Anyway, since today marks the beginning of August, I wanted to mention that I published two new columns over at the Erotic Readers and Writers Association. My Shameless Self-Promotion series continues with "Adventures in Cyberspace: Finding Balance, Branching Out" which explores more ways to use the Internet to promote your work, such as email discussion lists, author chats, writing columns or working as an Examiner journalist for a beat related to your book. Also check out the very valuable interviews with Brenna Lyons on author chats and many other topics and Sue Thurman on her experiences as an Arizona Examiner.

Cooking Up a Storey is especially sweet this month with a look at Erotic Alchemy: Fantasy Plus Reality Equals Pecan Bars. There's a great recipe for pecan bars (I'll be bringing a batch of these to Gettysburg) and a peek between the covers of Jack Morin’s The Erotic Mind: Unlocking the Inner Sources of Sexual Passion and Fulfillment. Morin is a sex therapist, but he departs from the usual "enlightened" approach in his field that claims the key to a better sex life is merely to reduce inhibition and shame. Instead he acknowledges that guilt and shame and other "dark" emotions can enhance the erotic experience, although he also hopes we can overcome sex-negativity in our culture and embrace the joy of eroticism as well.

This observation really struck me when I first read it and now: “Many find it discomforting to tolerate the ambiguity of the erotic experience, to accept its mixed motivations, or to observe how the erotic mind has a habit of transforming one idea or emotion into another.” I would argue (and I do) that the mysterious change that takes place when real life material is reshaped in fantasy--for example, converting sexual shame to exhibitionism, humiliation to empowerment-- lies at the heart of what we do as writers, although perhaps more consciously than a "layman" indulging in sexual fantasy. I find it all so fascinating, but enough synopsis--go read the column!

Another Hot Threesome at ERWA!

Tomorrow is the first day of July, the first full month of summer freedom, and I'm the proud (and exhausted) author of three essays on the ERWA website. Don't the best things always come in threes?

This month's installment of "Cooking Up a Storey" is called "Naked Lunches:
Picnics, Porn Stashes, and the Roots of an Obsession." It may seem a bit familiar to regular readers of this blog in its discussion of naughty trysts en plein air and the surprising uses of one's personal erotic history. But this time I include a recipe for "Naughty Picnic Couscous Salad," which is appropriately very portable to out-of-the-way areas and protein-rich to keep up your stamina!

If you've been following my "Shameless Self-Promotion" column (and if not, why haven't you? Are you embarrassed?), you'll be interested in this month's "Viva the Internet: Book Reviews and Blogs." The Internet is by far the most effective tool for independent promoters and I not only give you a few tips from my own experience, I invite the amazingly resourceful and creative Jeremy Edwards to share his intimate knowledge of the path of cyber-shamelessness in a must-read interview at the ERWA blog.

That's the usual couple, but I'm in the mood to invite a third hot body into bed, and what better candidate than a 21st Century Courtesan, the steamy new novel by Eden Bradley? My review of the book touches upon the nature of genre fiction and the ways writers bend its rules, often beautifully, as does Bradley in this psychologically complex erotic romance.

But wait--do I see another sexy babe slinking over with a gleam in her eye and a ticket to Vegas in her hand? Yes, it's my favorite American Cool lady, Susan DiPlacido, who is the featured author at Ashley Lister's "Between the Lines." You can find out more about Susan's fascination with Vegas, her tricks of the trade (regarding writing, not gambling, although we'd love to hear those secrets, too), and how to test run your next novel in a short story. You'll think you've hit the jackpot with this down-to-earth discussion of the author's craft.

So come on, jump into bed with us. There's always room for more!

Amazon's Anti-Sex "Glitch" and My Case of P-Envy

We're just two days into the lovely month of May, which means a fresh page on the calendar (my shunga calendar switched from a pleasure boat of partying libertines to one man cavorting with four naked courtesans) and two new columns up at the Erotica Readers and Writers Association.

This month on Cooking Up a Stor(e)y, I muse about Lessons from Amazon: Eternal Mysteries, Cool Comforts, and the Chemistry of Lust. I also share my award-winning--yes, I got an award from Sunset Magazine--mousse-style rice pudding recipe. If you like rice pudding, this will definitely float your pleasure boat.

In my Shameless Self-Promotion column, I start narrowing down the discussion to the specifics of hawking your book, so each column from now on will offer more practical, step-by-step topics. This month I talk about Publicists, Press Kits and Other P-Words. Well, one other P-word. Bet you can't guess what it is!

Now I'm off to dance around the May Pole and eat more strawberries. Enjoy!

A Publicist Who Does the Job Right?

As part of my column on book promotion for first-time authors on the ERWA Authors Resources page, “Shameless Self Promotion,” I’ll be posting some interviews with writers who’ve graciously agreed to share their experience over coffee and cookies. So pull up a chair at the ERWA blog kitchen table and come chat with debut novelist Kirsten Menger-Anderson. Kirsten recently published an amazingly thought-provoking and elegant novel-in-stories entitled Doctor Olaf van Schuler’s Brain (Algonquin of Chapel Hill), which follows the lives of twelve generations of New York City physicians who are trying to better the human condition, each in his or her own misguided way. Of particular interest to shameless self-promoters is the fact that Kirsten’s publisher treated her with respect and made a significant effort to publicize the book. Don't believe me? Check out her interview!

Story Soup and Sexy Readers

The April ERWA columns are up today, and there isn't any fooling around this month for yours truly. My "Cooking Up a Storey" continues its sexual and culinary meditations with Story Soup: Forbidden Fodder, Mystery Spices, and Very Embarrassed Eggs. First I muse about the way our pasts inform our writing and how, ironically for writers working with often taboo subject matter, it is taboo to acknowledge the roots of our work. As I was writing this month's column in the midst of my own focus on the creative process, I came to this realization about the self-reflective nature of this year's "Cooking" project:

The more I stirred the stewing pot of my own psyche, the more I realized how many different elements nourished my imagination. Some were obvious, some secret and subtle, but the bubbling brew began to seem very much like a homemade soup, crafted without a clearly defined recipe but rich with the freshest produce at hand and piquant spices from my cupboard. In short, when I write, I really am cooking up a story. Who knew?

It's nice to know I can at least convince myself of the relationship between cooking, writing, and sex! Then at the conclusion of my soul-searching taboo talk, you'll be rewarded with some juicy descriptions of Sunday dinners at my grandma's and an old-fashioned Pennsylvania Dutch recipe for a way to use up hardboiled eggs.

This month's "Shameless Self-Promotion: Websites, Blog-sites and the All-Mighty Reader" talks about the importance of seeing our readers as people, not sales stats, and ways to make your website reflect your sensibility, which is what readers connect with when they buy your book. I take a quick tour of some websites and blog-sites I like by Lisabet Sarai, Susan DiPlacido, and Jeremy Edwards and I also interview Lisabet Sarai at the ERWA blog about what she's learned from her recent website redesign.

The other day I was looking through notes and saw that my one-day publicist, Lauren Cerand, recommended an author actively promotes her book for one year. I'm not sure if she meant I should start counting from the pre-publication work I did, which would mean I should stop now, or that the clock starts ticking from the publication date (which gives me until June). Writing the Shamless Self-Promotion column is definitely helping me figure out what worked, what didn't and what I want to do next time, so that's been very helpful for me!

Tomorrow brings the start of another very exciting event, the all-star blog tour for SWING! Adventures in Swinging by Today’s Top Erotica Writers. I'm the host on April 3 with an excerpt from my story and lots of secrets to share. It's truly a fabulous roster of writers and we'll be blogging all month long. Come hang, and swing, with us!

March Madness Cubed at ERWA

Ready for a sexy threesome over at the Erotica Readers and Writers Association? First check out Ashley Lister's informative interview with editor Jolie du Pre, whose soon-to-be-released anthology Swing! includes my saucy swapping story "John Updike Made Me Do It."

That so happens to be part of the title of this month's "Cooking Up a Storey": John Updike Made Me Do It: Taboo-Breaking Fathers, Rebel Daughters, and Porn Writers’ Pizza. And yes, I more or less manage to tie together those rather disparate topics into a hopefully satisfying meal.

"Shameless Self-Promotion" continues on its journey with a more concrete and practical set of topics in "The Irresistible You: Pitches and Bios." Creating tantalizing teasers for your book and yourself is a basic tool of promotion, and I'm so shameless, I even share some from my files over at the ERWA blog.

Shameless Self-Promotion for Everyone!

Yes, I’ve been a bad girl over at Cooking Up a Storey this month, but with the debut of my new column in the Erotica Writer’s Resources section, I’m all goodness. Maybe it is a wee bit naughty to slap some neon on my underpants (I wonder if Adrienne would let me borrow her matching boots?), but when you’re doing “Shameless Self-Promotion,” that’s just part of the job.

I’m really excited about writing this column, which is kind of an invitation to other writers to sit down at my kitchen table and talk about the confusing, scary and often overwhelming task of promoting our work. I don’t want to repeat everything I discussed in "Dreams and Realities: Our Journey Begins," but after you’ve read it, if you have any suggestions or responses, please leave a comment. I do want this to be a conversation! I have some sake left over from the Kyoto party and a few of the erotic wine cups that were not taken by admiring guests, so pull up a chair and let's chat.

The topic is so huge and I’m definitely no expert, but I am fresh from the trenches (or rather still wallowing in the mud). I had a few questions for readers of SSP. So far do you think I’m spending too much time on “deeper” issues, like why your work is worth the energy to promote and what your fantasies of success are? These were big issues for me and I want to offer more food for thought (that's me, always thinking about food!) than just list “useful” tips which could be found anywhere. Not too many how-to books talk about the psychological journey, and I thought it might be interesting to touch upon it and get us all thinking about what lies behind the apparently simple public act of selling our work.

I also wondered what you thought about my networking suggestion. Word of mouth and getting up the courage to contact other writers for advice truly led to the majority of my breaks. Frankly, I haven’t had much luck with MySpace, but maybe I don’t get how to use it. Facebook got me in touch with some old friends and some bought my book, but the real value was getting in touch with the friends. Actually, one of the best things I did—which I forgot to mention in the column—was post my bio on ERWA’s “Circle of Friends.” I met some wonderful people that way and got to know Adrienne, who is tops in generosity, eloquence and support. Any thoughts on the best ways you’ve found to connect—other groups or web sites?

Also, don’t forget to check out M. Christian’s perfectly complimentary column on how to meet people and make friends in the blogosphere. The Maestro is the source of much helpful knowledge and inspiration for me and he knows his stuff.

Here's to a year of shameless self-promotion for us all!