So, I was on my walk this morning and somehow I got to thinking about the phenomenon of CEO's or other powerful men who like to be sexually dominated, and sometimes use their great wealth to purchase the services of a dominatrix. I read an article about this in The New Yorker back in the Tina Brown days, and ever since it seems that even minimally savvy people know this is a truth of human nature. How ironic indeed that the powerful yearn to be powerless in their deepest fantasies.
But I got to thinking about this in a different way, especially with regard to my own checkered past as an traditionally ambitious person (I don't consider myself such now). In fact, these "powerful" men are not overturning their basic nature when they kneel before their Mistress. They are simply continuing in their obeisance to an outside power that defines what they should do to be worthy. For indeed even the highest powers in Hollywood, Wall Street and the government have surely had to bend over and take whatever to get where they are, so that they can dish it out to others.
I don't know, maybe this isn't the most earth-shaking epiphany, but it struck me as an enlightening shift of perspective, a fruitful way to challenge "common wisdom." I've been in a questioning, challenging mood recently. Good for novel writing, perhaps?
What do you think? (And pass those cookies, please!)
3 comments:
So funny, I happen to have been pondering this exact subject lately. I'm not even sure why.
I feel to some degree that it may be a reflection of a way that society postulates "men" are "supposed" to be in terms of "success," or temperament, or character, or any number of things that (it seems to me) something as arbitrary as biological sex would not determine. Thus, frequently people may feel pressured to act certain ways they don't actually feel, on some level, disposed to. The urge then to feel "dominated" may be actually an opportunity or craving to feel not in charge, not responsible for having to be a certain way — they are being told what to do, they do not have to feel that responsibility, that weight is off of them for a time.
This may be the case (again, it seems to me) with many BDSM pairings and scenarios, not just men and dominatrices — in fact, it even reminds me of my own blog post about rough sex in connection with the roller coaster at Walt Disney World ("A Euphoric Relief").
That's what has occurred to me. How funny that, again, for some reason I have/had been pondering the subject lately too! :)
Excellent observation! Often the most powerful are indeed the biggest followers. In a way, obeying the market is the grandest form of following. Consider people in the "old boy network" or Country Club mentality where one must obey a written or unwritten set of laws.
To Em's point, I think those in power who respond with a strong urge to be dominated often are those who shoulder a great deal of responsibility on their own; those who do not distribute responsibility well.
This topic has been in my mind a lot lately too. I have a couple pages of hand written notes about "powerful men" and some of the traits that define them.
Well, clearly great minds do think alike! Thanks so much for your comments, my fellow cookie and cocoa compatriots. I totally see the appeal of not having to be in charge, even of myself and my own desires. I suspect this is a reason many feminists like to be bottoms as well. In "real" life, you're so busy trying to live up to some standard, often conflicting standards from the past and present. I remember your roller coaster post, Emerald. And the monorail ride, too!
And Craig, yes, the "networks" actually demand major conformity, as does any popular or elite crowd. Did a little deeper and the paradoxes are thick on the ground, aren't they?
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