A Swinging Good Time at F-Stop

Has another week flown by so fast? Yes, it's time for a new author to take the stage at F-Stop. This week is an especially entertaining post by the prolific and always witty Ashley Lister, who shares with us some poetry, some literary analysis, and a lot of laughs.

As always, revelations abound, so head off to the swinger's party with "Betty & I." See you there!

Honouring Ashley Lister

It may seem a leap from an ode to "I Dream of Jeannie" to the graduation ceremony at Lancaster University (John of Gaunt's Lancaster in the UK, not the pale copy I'll be visiting in Pennsylvania in a month), but you can't deny master erotica writer Ashley Lister has much in common with the Barbara Eden character when you're talking amazing talents and feats of wonder.

Most of us are familiar with Ashley's witty and wild erotic short stories and his nonfiction books, Swingers: True Confessions from Today's Swinging Scene and Swingers: Female Confidential, but just this week, he's added another accomplishment to the impressive list by receiving his Bachelor's Degree with first-class Honors in English Language, Literature and Creative Writing from the aforementioned Lancaster University. Ashley ranked first in his class and thus was invited to give a speech--he'd be called valedictorian in the US, but such a designation doesn't exist in the UK.

I can't think of any speaker I'd rather have on the roster at a graduation ceremony, but when I asked Ashley if he used the opportunity to bestow much-needed tips on writing effectively about sex to his listeners, he said he saves that advice for the creative writing classes he's teaching and will continue to teach at the university. (Lucky students!) He reported that since his talk concluded the ceremony he thought "it was mainly a signal to the graduates that the boring graduation ceremony was finished and everyone could rush out to binge on free coffee and cakes." (Mmm, cakes... Maids of Honor? Currant scones with fresh strawberry jam and clotted cream?) The following eloquent quote, however, got high praise from the audience: "In the last three years I’ve been introduced to an array of mind-blowing theories; a wealth of ways to explore my creativity; and a class of great and innovative thinkers who I shall always treasure as friends."

I'm getting a little sniffly, too, actually.

In conclusion, I'd like to extend my congratulations to Ashley for his impressive accomplishment. I wish I could have been in the audience clapping, but trust all of my good wishes will sail smoothly across an ocean.

Swing Blog Tour: "John Updike Made Me Do It"

Welcome to the Sex, Food and Writing stop of the all-star Swing! Blog Tour, a month-long party leading up to the publication of Swing! Adventures in Swinging by Today's Top Erotica Writers on April 24, 2009. Please help yourself to the sushi and saké cocktails to satisfy your foodie urges--we'll get to the sex and writing part very soon. But first I wanted to say how much I've been enjoying the interviews on the tour so far, first with editor Jolie du Pre and then with the U.K.'s foremost expert on the swinger scene, Ashley Lister. I think we'll have to collect all the spot-on useful writing advice when this tour is over and make another anthology!

But now, my responses to the Swing! Blog Tour questions, including an excerpt from my story of a swinging literary obsession. So let's Swing!

SWING!: Why do you write erotica and what do you love best about it?

DGS: When I first started writing erotica about twelve years ago, it wasn’t a conscious choice. I’d just left teaching to be with my new baby and decided to devote his nap times to fiction writing, which is something I’d always wanted to try. Somehow, whenever I sat down at the keyboard, sexy stories just seemed to flow through my fingers and onto my computer screen. This was far from the respectable masterpieces I’d hoped to write, but then again I’d never felt so excited or fulfilled by any work I’d ever done in my life. It was thrilling to write about sex honestly from the female point of view and discover familiar truths in erotic stories by other women writers, because of course, I started reading a lot of contemporary erotica for the first time, too. So much of the sex written by our most celebrated American writers—such as Philip Roth, John Updike and Saul Bellow--represented the male experience.

What I love best about this genre is that I can celebrate good sex and the many ways sexual desire enriches our lives. In literary fiction, sex tends to be bad and sad or both. Popular magazines constantly offer us a flood of fluff pieces every month about sexless marriages or five steps to better orgasms, but rarely do they go deeper than chirping self-help platitudes. Sex is either poison or a reason to buy something to “improve” yourself.

Of course, it’s so much more. When I start a new story, I feel as if I’m trying to figure out yet another mystery about sexual desire. What makes power play so alluring? How does swinging enrich a couple’s relationship? What new things can you see through a blindfold? Erotica gives me the chance to break free from our society’s fear of sex to capture the magic of the erotic urge. I also have to mention that one of my favorite parts about my work is connecting with fellow erotica writers and being part of such projects as Swing! People who write dirty stories are very cool!

Tell us about your story in Swing! Adventures in Swinging by Today's Top Erotica Writers and please feel free to give us an excerpt.

My Swing! story is called “John Updike Made Me Do It,” which refers to the heroine’s life-long fascination with the couples’ swapping scenarios in John Updike’s novels. The story is as much a celebration of the way Updike’s portrayal of suburban life in the 1960s captured America’s imagination, as it is the depiction of a polyamorous party. So in that sense, John Updike really did make me do it--although I definitely had fun writing the many juicy sexual encounters. Like all of my stories, it started out as an intriguing question and ended up teaching me a lot about my own desires and yearnings, both sexual and literary.

By the way, this story had already been written and accepted for Swing! when I heard news of Updike’s death in January. Now I realize the story is a kind of eulogy for a writer I both admire and struggle against in my efforts to present the erotic experience from the female point of view.

I thought about excerpting one of the, ahem, climactic scenes, but didn’t want to be the cause of undo blushing on this very decorous blog tour, so I’ll offer up the opening scene which merely suggests the pleasures that await in the pages beyond.

From "John Updike Made Me Do It"

Roots of an Obsession

John Updike made me do it.

He definitely deserves a lot of credit anyway.

Because when I think back on that night in Tahoe, it’s almost as if he were right there in the hot tub with us, his lips stretched in a patrician smile as he guided my hand over to caress the rock-hard cock of a man who was not my husband. Of course said husband was too busy sucking the rosy nipples of the German woman, Katharina, to notice or care. And Jurgen and Jill were already kissing as if they’d done it dozens of times, which they hinted they had when Jill spent her junior year in Bonn. None of them seemed to need John Updike’s help, although no doubt they had his blessing.

Updike had been softening me up for this night for years. Sitting in the effervescent spa water with five other horny married people, the Sierras soaring around us into the star-flecked sky, it was just like stepping into the pages of a steamy novel. In fact, it was the same surreal excitement I felt as I devoured Rabbit is Rich or Couples under the blankets as a teenager. Sneaking them from the bookshelves in my parents’ room, I instinctively knew I could only read them when I heard the soft click of their bedroom lock at night.

While my parents “did it” the customary way--with each other in their marriage bed, their lust invisible to the world--the couples in John Updike’s stories were fearlessly experimental, so they ended up all jumbled together like Halloween candy in a plastic pumpkin. They’d jet off to the Caribbean where the wives would confer to redistribute sex partners for the night. Or they’d fall into affairs, then confess to their spouses who would graciously consent to sleep with their cuckolded counterparts to even the score. Even Updike’s memoirs glittered with shocking transgression. I can’t tell you how many times I masturbated to the scene of Updike fingering a neighbor’s wife through her ski pants as they drove back from Vermont through a starry winter night.

I knew these were just stories, maybe even pure fantasy, but I sensed, too, that John Updike was giving me a glimpse of the hunger and restlessness of the adult world. What were these people looking for in their swaps and affairs? Did they ever find it?

Would I?....

Name some other books where we can find your work.

DGS: For a book that’s all me, all the time, check out Amorous Woman (Neon/Orion), my semi-autobiographical novel set in Japan that was published last summer. I took my inspiration from a 17th century erotic classic by Ihara Saikaku about a woman who loved sex and had many adventures, taking on every role open to women of the time from the concubine of a provincial lord to a lowly streetwalker. I thought it might be interesting to translate that into a modern story of a sexually curious Western woman trying out all the roles available to her in Japan. I tried my best to make the tale as steamy as a hot spring bath, plus add in plenty of humor in keeping with the tone of the original. For a sample, check out my website or my provocative book trailer on Youtube which includes racy Japanese erotic prints mixed in with embarrassing photos of me without any clothes on.

I’ve also had the honor to work with many wonderful erotica anthology editors over the years, and my short fiction has appeared most recently in Susie Bright’s X: The Erotic Treasury,
Maxim Jakubowski’s The Mammoth Book of Best New Erotica 8, Violet Blue’s Best Women’s Erotica 2009, Alison Tyler’s Never Have the Same Sex Twice, and Rachel Kramer Bussel’s The Mile High Club: Plane Sex Stories.

And of course, being part of Jolie du Pre’s Swing! is a long-time dream come true.

What are you working on now?

I’m currently plotting out my second novel, an “intellectual erotic mystery,” that is a peek through the bedroom keyhole of American history in the 20th century. I’ll pay homage to Sally Rand, the famous 1930s burlesque dancer, Bettie Page and camera clubs in the 1950s. John Updike’s spouse-swapping suburbia will play a “key” part in the story as well. Swing! has been a great inspiration for me in this particular area!

If you could offer one piece of advice to a new author, what would it be?

Writers create fiction and fantasies, but we can also get distracted by some common fantasies about “success” in writing that make us forget what’s really important—the creative act itself. I remember reading a memoir piece by John Updike bemoaning the fact his novels were no longer available in every airport kiosk. Here’s a writer who is by any measure a huge success, and it wasn’t enough to satisfy him. Sales and good reviews do feed the ego for a while, but the greatest satisfaction will come from like-minded colleagues who support you, readers who give you the gift of their time, and most of all your connection with the magical power of language to create something surprising and true.

In short, the process is the gold. Treasure it!

The Swing! Blog Tour continues on April 6 at Alicia Night Orchid's very erotic blog.

Landlady Report from Sunny Blackpool

I hereby declare today Official "Sunny" Blackpool Day! We started off with a Blackpool poem, and now, for dessert, we have an illustrated, eyewitness report from D.L. King, who had the bloody good fortune to visit with Ashley Lister in Blackpool in real life! Photos courtesy of D.L.!
Ah, sunny Blackpool... Well, to be fair, it *was* the end of September. What can you expect from the North West of England in the end of September? (Actually, I got a sunburn in London, but that's really neither here nor there.) Sunny, or not, you can get a donkey ride on the beach; where else can you do that (outside of Mexico)?
Blackpool boasts the world's largest mirror ball. It's really very cool. If you squint, you can see me, Ashley and his son. Well, those blobs are us, I swear!
I had a great time in Blackpool, hanging out and drinking with Ashley (unfortunately, I'd quit smoking by the time I got there, else I could have said I had a great time drinking and smoking with Ashley, but even without the smoking, I had a great time! And my landlady was lovely. She was young and I didn't notice too many rules. Of course, after making it all the way to the top of the house, to my tiny garret under the eaves, I wouldn't have had enough energy for breaking the rules!

And just in case anybody was wondering, I wouldn't say no to rock--in case someone decided to send some through the mail, you know, the tutti fruity kind, just in case. I'm feeling particularly destructive toward my teeth.

Huge balls, donkeys, nonstop boozing--I'm jealous! All of this drooling in envy calls for second helpings on the tutti fruity rock for everyone. Thanks so much for the Colonist's tour of Blackpool this afternoon!

Blackpool Holiday

It's Sunday afternoon, spring is in the air. What could be more proper than a trip to the seaside to stroll the promenade, admiring the beauty and grandeur of nature to one side and the glitz and glamour--not to say grime--of human creativity and commerce on the other? Thanks to the wonders of the blogosphere, the famous resort of Blackpool is but a blink away for the partiers in Suite 69. Naturally, I'd only enlist the aid of the very best guide, the witty and wonderful Ashley Lister, whose contribution to the canon of smart erotica that always brings a smile to your face is truly immeasurable.

Ashley is not just an awesome dirty-story-writer, he's a prolific reviewer, a writing teacher, a journalist and author of the best-selling Swingers and Swingers: Female Confidential, a generous friend and mentor, and last, but not least, an award-winning literature student and poet. He's currently assembling a portfolio of poetry for his thesis, a sampling of which he shares with us today. Naturally, our refreshments today are Blackpool favorites: ice cream cones, sticks of rock and tins of lager, in any order you choose! Here's Ashley on budget lodgings by the sea....

Blackpool, for those of you unfamiliar with the location, is a seaside resort in the UK's north-west. According to Bill Bryson's Notes From a Small Island, Blackpool attracts more visitors than Greece and has more holiday beds than the whole of Portugal. Consequently, because of the high concentration of hotels and the town's status as a magnet for tourism, I feel like I'm on familiar territory when discussing Rachel Kramer Bussel's latest exemplary title: Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories. The poem below is set firmly in Blackpool and is dedicated to the town's legendary landladies. It's something of a historical tradition that Blackpool's hotels and guest houses are run by austere matriarchs: a tradition that has been in place since the days of the First World War and continuing through to the present day. And, just like it's a tradition in Rachel Kramer Bussel's anthology for the characters to get a lot of pleasure from their visits to hotels, it's something of a tradition in Blackpool for visitors to be greeted in a fashion that's similar to this poem:

"The Landlady’s Rules" by Ashley Lister

singles, doubles, twins, en suite
home cooked meals for you to eat
family run for family fun
by the beach and in the sun
near the prom and near the tower
the walk won’t take more than an hour

families welcome – we have cots
chamber maids and chamber pots
breakfast served from seven ‘til eight
you WILL go hungry if you’re LATE.

NO stags. NO hens.
Be in bed by half past ten.
NO heavy petting. NO sub-letting.
We must insist there’s NO bed-wetting.

NO troubling the other guests.
NO parking spaces. And NO pets.
NO fast food inside your room.
NO doing vulgar things with our vacuum.

NO alcohol. NO drugs. NO smoking.
NO exceptions. We’re NOT joking.
NO singing, fighting, and NO swearing.
NO closed windows the rooms need airing.

NO credit cards. NO discount rates.
NO colour TV. And NO complaints.
NO loud music night or day.
And one more thing – enjoy your stay!

Amorous Woman is Erotically Revealed!

Well, I have to say 2008 has started off exceptionally well for my novel, Amorous Woman with a fabulous review posted by Ashley Lister at Erotica Revealed in the January issue.

I’ve been in many Cleis anthologies with Ashley (who often writes under a pseudonym although his best-selling expose on Swingers was published under his own name) and have followed his columns on ERWA for years. I don’t think I’ve ever read any of his prose, fiction or non, without laughing out loud at his cleverness and wit, not to mention that I always know immediately I am in the hands of a master of the craft. He KNOWS his stuff.

So, it is especially thrilling that Ashley liked my novel. It’s hard to stop smiling about this, which is not a bad way to start the new year. And it’s hard to pick my favorite excerpts, although I’ll have to settle on something for my promo materials, but I can think of worse problems. In keeping with the more “intellectual” quality of Erotica Revealed (which you could argue is The New Yorker of erotica reviews), Ashley highlights the literary precedents of my novel—my direct model, Ihara Saikaku’s The Life of an Amorous Woman as well as the more amorphous inspirations of Japanese literary style.


“The first thing that struck me about this book is the fact that the author is maddeningly clever. The eloquence of Donna’s writing matches the elegant style of Japanese culture (as it is probably perceived by those who aren’t boorish bukake/karaoke/Godzilla louts). As I mentioned before, I’ve previously encountered Donna’s work in her wonderful short stories. Amorous Woman is similarly presented in a series of short and manageable chapters which, despite their brevity, are each exciting, arousing and carry the narrative along with startling swiftness.”

Clever, elegant, page-turner—this is good, right? Or perhaps it’s best to go with haiku-like brevity as in the following?

“…it’s a bloody good read.”

The review is a good read, too, so head on over to Erotica Revealed and help me toast the new year!