I was reading Rachel Kramer Bussel’s Lusty Lady column from last May in the Village Voice called “Eating for Arousal,” and thought I’d add a few thoughts about the sex-food relationship and meals for seduction.
In my last post, I suggested that there were no “magic bullet” foods to make a reluctant partner into a “fuck-me-now” lust bunny, and maybe I’m still right. But the way Rachel describes the effect of a cupcake on her state of mind and body makes me wonder! Not that a cupcake, or a dish of excellent rice pudding, would make me leap on the bones of someone I hated. It might tip the balance if I were on the fence, though, by taking me to a place where the senses are engaged and ready for more action. Still, there’s no way to make generalizations about what this magic potion would be for any given person. Women do seem more likely to be moved to passion by a sweet luscious dessert than men. Or at least they’re willing to admit it. For one it might be chocolate, though, for another something creamy. Finding out what this is involves getting to know the person—and I would still argue that the process of gaining intimate knowledge is itself the aphrodisiac.
I especially related to this quote from the article: “They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but what about the way to his cock, or to a girl's tender bits? Is it possible to get someone in the mood with a well-cooked, sexy meal? According to Jacqui Malouf, author of Booty Food (Bloomsbury, 2004), it certainly is. ‘Good, bad, or burnt, there's something erotic about being nurtured with goodies made by a lover. When a new special someone in your life shares their favorite dishes, you really see who they are, and that kind of naked authenticity is truly sexy to me.’"
Sharing your favorite foods, especially ones you make, with someone is an act of intimacy, a way to let them see and be you, by experiencing the same sensual pleasure. And, this might even be too obvious, but our bodies and minds do not divide sensual enjoyment into discreet categories, though our society might insist that sexual joy is completely separate from culinary delights or appreciating a lovely sunset. (I also think reading a book or story that someone really loves is an exciting way to get to know them!) Maybe because food has so many connotations of maternal nurturing, it feels naughty to link it with sex? But it’s definitely not unnatural to do so.
Okay, really, next time, junk food porn and homemade erotica and why I have this bizarre fascination with Hugh Hefner and a few other things….